Wise or Just Loud? How to Tell the Difference (And Stop Taking Bad Advice)

Everybody’s Got an Opinion, But Not Everyone’s Worth Listening To.

Let’s be honest—advice is everywhere. Your mom’s got some. Your group chat has a lot. That random influencer who thinks being 25 and having a skincare routine qualifies them to be a life coach? Yeah, she’s got it too. But here’s the thing—just because it’s loud doesn’t mean it’s wise.

And if you’re not careful, you’ll end up living a life shaped by everyone else’s opinions instead of your own values. You’ll spend your days chasing advice instead of chasing wisdom. And the truth is, not all advice is worth your time.

This is why we’re not just another place to “vent and get advice.” Here in Women at the Well, we’re not about collecting opinions—we’re about cultivating wisdom. And if you’re going to learn how to give or receive advice, you better learn how to tell the difference between wise counsel and empty noise.

The Bible’s Take on Advice: Not All Advice is Godly (and That’s a Fact)

Think God just wants you to listen to everybody? Absolutely not. The Bible is super clear:

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” — Proverbs 12:15
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” — Proverbs 13:20

But here’s the catch—God doesn’t say “listen to everyone.” He says to seek wise counsel. What’s the difference? Well, look at Job. His friends showed up to “help” but ended up talking out the side of their necks, giving him shame instead of support. They assumed, they judged, they projected—and instead of helping, they made it worse.

Here’s the truth: Wise counsel isn’t just about being right. It’s about being real, rooted in truth, and actually helping someone move forward.

Why Bad Advice Is So Easy to Take (and So Hard to Ignore)

Let’s get psychological for a second. We crave advice because we crave:

Control: When life feels like chaos, we want someone to just tell us what to do. Spoiler: that’s not always wise.
Validation: Sometimes, we’re not looking for advice—we’re looking for someone to tell us we’re right.
Connection: Giving advice can make us feel helpful, but it can also make us feel powerful. That’s why some people give it even when they have no clue what they’re talking about.

But here’s the problem: bad advice is junk food for your soul. It feels good in the moment but leaves you confused, stuck, or even ashamed. So how do you stop eating junk and start craving the good stuff? You learn how to spot wise counsel.

How to Tell Wise Counsel from Empty Opinions

1. Does It Align with God’s Truth?

I don’t care how confident someone sounds—if their advice contradicts God’s word, it’s garbage. That’s not wisdom—it’s opinion. Real wisdom aligns with God’s character, even when it’s not what you want to hear.

🚫 Bad Advice: “You’re too messed up for God to use you.”
✅ Wise Counsel: “God has a history of using broken people. His strength is made perfect in weakness.”

2. Is It Given with Humility?

Let’s be clear: wisdom doesn’t shout. It doesn’t demand to be followed. If someone is trying to force you to take their advice, that’s not wisdom—it’s control.

🚫 Bad Advice: “If you don’t do what I say, you’re making a huge mistake.”
✅ Wise Counsel: “Here’s what helped me. Take what you need, leave what you don’t.”

3. Is It Rooted in Understanding, Not Assumption?

Wise counsel listens before it speaks. Job’s friends got it wrong because they assumed they understood his situation. Real wisdom doesn’t come from a one-size-fits-all script—it comes from actually hearing you.

🚫 Bad Advice: “You just need to pray more, and your anxiety will disappear.”
✅ Wise Counsel: “Anxiety is tough. Have you thought about what helps you feel grounded?”

How to Give Real, Wise Advice (Instead of Just Sounding Smart)

1. Ask Before Offering.

Just because someone is venting doesn’t mean they want your advice. Some people just need a safe place to talk. Be clear.

“Would you like some advice, or would you rather I just listen?”
“I’ve been through something similar—would you like me to share what helped me?”

2. Share, Don’t Preach.

Nobody likes a know-it-all. The best advice is the kind that’s offered without pressure. Share what has helped you. Leave room for them to make their own decisions.

🚫 “You need to do this.”
✅ “One thing that helped me was…”

3. Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements.

This keeps you from coming off like a drill sergeant. Sharing your experience is more powerful than trying to control someone else’s.

🚫 “You’re not trusting God enough.”
✅ “When I struggled with faith, spending time in the Psalms helped me.”

How to Receive Advice Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Peace)

1. Don’t Treat Every Opinion Like a Command.

Just because someone has an opinion doesn’t mean you have to take it. You’re allowed to pray, process, and choose for yourself.

2. Test It Against God’s Word.

If it doesn’t line up with God’s truth, it doesn’t belong in your life. Wisdom isn’t just about what sounds good—it’s about what’s actually good.

3. Say “Thank You” (Even If You Don’t Take It).

Gratitude is classy. Even if you don’t agree, you can still appreciate someone for caring.

“Thanks for sharing that. I’m going to take some time to pray about it.”
“I appreciate your perspective. I’ll think about it.”

How We Do This in Women at the Well

We Lead with Listening: If you’re going to give advice, make sure you understand the situation first.
We Share, We Don’t Pressure: Your story is powerful—but it’s just that, your story. Offer it, but don’t force it.
We Receive with Wisdom: Just because you hear advice doesn’t mean you have to take it. Pray about it. Use what aligns. Leave what doesn’t.

Final Thought: Wisdom Isn’t Loud. It’s Loving.

In a world full of loud opinions, be the voice of wisdom. Speak the truth in love. Offer support without strings attached. Be the friend who listens, the mentor who encourages, and the woman who knows the difference between helpful advice and harmful noise.

And remember: Not every voice deserves your attention, but wise counsel? That’s priceless.